


Albion: Does Not Compute  (Plutonia's Birthday Bash Round Robin)

by Emrys MK (mk_malfoy), little_dhampir, Moonflower999, Nebula5030, orphan_account



Category: Merlin - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Era, M/M, Robots, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-15 03:31:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14782844
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mk_malfoy/pseuds/Emrys%20MK, https://archiveofourown.org/users/little_dhampir/pseuds/little_dhampir, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonflower999/pseuds/Moonflower999, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nebula5030/pseuds/Nebula5030, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Arthur and Merlin on a hunt when they encounter a strange visitor from the future.Princes, and Servants, and Robots...oh my!





	Albion: Does Not Compute  (Plutonia's Birthday Bash Round Robin)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts).



> Happy happy birthday Plutonia! It was a lot of fun doing this round robin with you for your birthday in Chat. Wishing you a very happy year and all the good things.
> 
> This story was written in Merlin_Chat as a round robin.  
> If you'd like to get to know us, come find us in Chatzy. Here's the info:  
> http://merlin-chat.livejournal.com
> 
> Come talk about Merlin (or anything else), support each other's creative endeavors, do sprints, rewatch episodes of Merlin (Fridays), etc.
> 
> Thanks to WoodlandGoddess1 and DevonShea for help with the title!

It was a dark and stormy night. Exactly NOT what Arthur expected when he decided they'd head out for a nice hunting trip. Rain beat down on the tent and leaked in at the corners. Merlin shouted as the cold puddle inching towards him made contact with his left hip.

“I still say this was a bad idea, Arthur,” Merlin grumbled, inching away from the puddle and grimacing as his hand sunk into the mud.

Arthur, who was notably sitting on a cot and _not_ on the wet dirt floor, scoffed. “You need to toughen up, Merlin. This will be good for you.”

“Not if I die from a cold first.”

Arthur rolled his eyes, about to make another comment at Merlin's decided lack of appreciation for a little outdoor activities, when suddenly the walls of the tent flashed bright as day, and an ear-shattering boom resounded what felt like an arms-length away from their camp. They both jumped out of their skin, clutching each other's arms.

"What was That?" Arthur found his voice first.

"How should I know?" Merlin tried to sound annoyed and not as scared as he felt. In his experience loud noises and blinding bursts of light were never anything good.

"Well, go check it out?" Arthur said, apparently not realising he was still holding onto Merlin.

"Why me?" Merlin asked annoyed and hyperaware of Arthur's closeness. "You are the scared-of-nothing-knight. I'm just a simple manservant."

“Yes, you are a _simple_ manservant, “ Arthur said haughtily, “but you are MY simple manservant and I am ordering YOU to go see what happened.”

Merlin couldn’t help the eye roll because, no matter what Arthur said, he was scared. Merlin hesitantly stepped away from Arthur, not missing the look Arthur gave him. Was that a smile? “If I do this, Sire, what do I get in return?” he asked cheekily, knowing he should stop, but he couldn’t help himself. Arthur was too much fun not to tease.

Arthur had his arm raised, half way to throwing his dirty wet sock at Merlin when he froze. It suddenly hit him that...no...could it be? He could have sworn Merlin was flirting with him.

Just then, as Merlin pulled back the tent flap, the sky lit up again...bright enough to be seen through the fabric of the tent. Arthur pulled Merlin back and stepped in front of him, sword in hand. The two men struggled. Now that the danger seemed more real each fought to be the first one out, keeping the other safe behind.

“Oh, so now you don’t want me going out,” Merlin retorted in annoyance as Arthur shoved him back away from the flap.

“Quiet, Merlin,” Arthur half-ordered, readying his hand to open the flap once more.

To his annoyance- and distress- he found Merlin again at his side. 

“Well, you’re not going out there without me,” Merlin said, more quietly.

Arthur glanced at him, and knew there was no dissuading Merlin from joining him. “On three?”

Merlin nodded.

“One...two...three!”

They both made for the tent-flap at the same time--storming out simultaneously and knocking their heads together. In a confusing jumble of arms and legs and other body parts, they toppled out of the tent, accompanied by a string of curses courtesy of the prince, "Dammit, Merlin!"

With a loud splat, they landed head first in the mud.

"You uncoordinated idiot!" Arthur picked himself up from the ground and looked down his clothes, covered in mud. "This was my best outdoor gear!"

"Well it's not like you're going to have to wash it, prat," Merlin muttered, rubbing his throbbing head.

"What was that?"

"I said, maybe you're in need of a hat."

Arthur threw him a glare and opened his mouth, about to yell at his servant some more when they both heard a strange, hissing noise. Their heads jerked around, and they realized they were not alone in the clearing.

Immediately, Arthur had his sword in hand and Merlin’s eyes glowed golden, seemingly not caring that Arthur would see it as long as he could protect his Prince. As soon as their eyes adjusted to the darkness they realised that smoke and fog seemed to cloud around a weird looking building that they both knew wasn't here before. Illuminated by the light shining from the weird thing a figure was rising. "What the..." Arthur stuttered.

Standing before them was a… well, Arthur couldn’t be sure what exactly it was. Well, it was blue, and it had eyes, and hair. It looked human for the most part, but then it didn’t. It had a smooth body that resembled armour.

Arthur slowly stepped forward, shaking off Merlin’s frantic attempts to keep him where he was, and continued slowly until he reached the strange creature that was looking at him with what Arthur could only describe as curiosity.

He lifted his hand and reached out, gently knocking on the skin or whatever it was called, and was unsurprised that it felt and sounded like armour. But when the creature made a coughing sound, Arthur jumped and somehow found himself standing beside Merlin again.

“Merlin,” he whispered, “What do you think it is?”

“My name is Plutonia, but you can call me Plu. I am a class 2 robot from Alpha Centauri,” answered the creature. “My starship was thrown off course. I seem to have traveled through a black hole into the past.”

“I have no idea what it’s saying, do you?” said Merlin.

Arthur shook his head slowly.

The android cocked its head. Her eyes whirred for some seconds, and then she repeated her introduction in English.

Even though she had clearly meant for this second introduction to be more understandable, Merlin and Arthur still found that they were unable to understand anything beyond “My name is Plutonia.” While the words _sounded_ like English, none were familiar to them.

But then Merlin caught the last thing she had said. “Wait, wait,” he said, holding up a hand, and ignoring the squawk Arthur made at Merlin trying to talk to this...creature. “Did you say ‘traveled to the past?’”

The... _robot_ , as she had called herself, didn’t move for a moment, but a strange whirring sound came from her as she stared unblinking at Merlin. “Yes. I believe that that is what has happened to me,” Plutonia said at length. “Can you give me information as to where or when this is?”

"When or where...?" Merlin repeated. "Well, you're in Camelot, or more like, the forest outside Camelot. But yes, the general vicinity of Camelot, you get the point. And talking about when--"

"Now hold on!" Arthur suddenly cut him off, stepping in front of Merlin and drawing his sword. "Traveled to the past? That sounds quite like sorcery to me."

"Sorcery?" The robot, Plu, asked. "I am no sorcerer."

"That's what they all say." Arthur said, sounding surprisingly smug. 

"I don't think she is a sorcerer, I think she is telling us the truth," Merlin replied. He was sure he had never read anything about robots in one of Gaius' books.

"The truth? How can time travel be the truth?"

Plu choose that moment to talk again. "Camelot? As in the stories about the mighty King Arthur and his sorcerer? Your adventures are well known in the future.”

“They are?” Merlin said at the same time that Arthur scoffed and made a funny face. “What if thi-Plutonia is telling us the truth,” Merlin said almost in a whisper. “You never know, there could be more out there that we don’t understand.”

“Highly unlikely, Merlin. My father would know if there were people who could travel in time. You better watch what you say. You just might find yourself with your head on the chopping block if you go around making such claims. Really, Merlin, you are a daft one.”

“What do they say about us?” Merlin blurted out, ignoring Arthur, but thankful that Arthur hadn’t believed what had been said about him being a sorcerer. Of course, the truth was bound to come out sooner rather than later. Merlin was already dreading that.

Plu’s eyes whirred again for some seconds. “I am finding 11,300,000 hits on King Arthur and Merlin. Please wait while I scan the entries. I regret that my information may not be complete because I have not had access to recent updates.”

Arthur nudged Merlin, who was studiously examining the nearest tree trunk. “My sorcerer, Merlin? What do you think she means?”

Plu interrupted, “Results have been compiled. There are numerous versions of Arthurian mythology. Some have been confirmed by archaeological findings. Arthur was the high king of all Albion. He is famous for uniting Albion and ushering in a golden age.”

Arthur preened just a bit, grinning at Merlin and poking him in the ribs.

Plu continued, “Merlin was considered the wisest of all wise men.”

Now it was Merlin’s turn to preen a bit.

“Merlin was Arthur’s court sorcerer, and a great dragonlord.”

Merlin froze in place, all color drained from his face.

Arthur, bless his idiot heart, barked a laugh at this. “You can’t be serious! Merlin? A wise-man, sorcerer, _and_ a Dragonlord? You might as well tell me that he and I marry!”

Plutonia didn’t skip a beat. “According to some sources, you do. Disregard of romantic relationships between two males has long been an issue with historical study.”

Arthur paused for a moment, a blush rising to his cheeks, before he forced a scoff and rolled his eyes once more. “Surely you can’t tell me you believe this...this _thing_ , do you, Merlin? Merlin?”

Merlin was not answering, staring at Plutonia with wide eyes. "You... he..." he stuttered, looking back and forth between the robot and Arthur. "Married? To _him?"_

Arthur scowled at him. "What are you so flabbergasted at? It would be a privilege for you to marry the Prince!"

"You... I... are you saying you want us to be married?"

"WHAT?" Arthur crossed his arms, blushing even brighter. "I-idiot. Learn to listen! That wasn't at all what I said!"

"I cannot confirm the trustworthiness of the sources 100 %," explained the robot matter-of-factly, "But considering you are both in love with the other, it would be the next logical step, according to human custom."

Merlin swallowed. This was not at all how he had wanted this to all come out. Not the bit about him being a sorcerer, and certainly not the part about him and Arthur being in love. So far Merlin had acted affronted and he thought it was working, but it wasn’t how he really felt.

No, Merlin hadn’t thought he was in _love_ with the prat, but he had known for some time that he was becoming rather in like with him and wanted to be with him all the time. But Arthur would never want him, that much was obvious.

But if what Plutonia said was true… hm, just maybe they did end up together. He looked between Plutonia and Arthur and took another deep breath. There was no getting around this now.

Merlin’s gaze drifted from Arthur’s right shoulder, to his left, to somewhere behind his head before he dared to look into his eyes. And what he saw there stunned him. Arthur looked terrified, but underneath the terror there was such a look of longing. Without another thought Merlin stepped forward and right into Arthur’s space, wrapping his long fingers around the back of his prince’s neck. No longer was there any doubt that Kilgharrah had spoken true. Arthur was his destiny in more ways than one, and he was Arthur’s.

Arthur’s eyes shifted uncertainly. He visibly steeled himself and looked back to Merlin’s eyes, holding his gaze, a small smile on his lips. “Is this what you want, Merlin? Because it is all that I have most wanted.” He leaned forward until their foreheads rested together.

Merlin’s heart felt like it was going to pound out of his chest, but he smiled in return. “Really? Because...I’ve wanted this for a long time too.”

“Since you met me?” Arthur asked arrogantly yet teasingly, knowing his reputation as quite the heart throb and unable to resist annoying Merlin.

“Well, after I figured out you weren’t the prat I thought you were. But I must say you took your time convincing me of that.”

Arthur pouted. "I'll have you know I'm an irresistible hunk! As said before, you are bestowed a royal privilege by being subject to the prince's attention."

"How very lucky I am," Merlin said drily.

Suddenly, there was a loud rumble from in between the trees, and they both jumped again, not letting go of each other. "What was that?"

"My emergency call seems to have been answered," said Plutonia. "That means we part ways here. Thank you for hosting me, it has been most educating."

"...Well, I guess we have to thank you too, strangely-armored sorceress," Arthur conceded, reluctantly. "You certainly opened our eyes towards each others... feelings."

They both blushed, at having it voiced out loud.

"Your gratefulness is unnecessary, but I will accept it," she nodded, raising a strangely blue-glowing finger and holding it towards her ear. "For now, fare well. We may see each other again if my mission leads me to you."

And with a lightning flash and loud thunder, she was gone again, leaving behind only a smoking circle where she and her contraption had been a second before.

"She's not a sorceress," said Merlin, wide-eyed. "This is something else. It's not like anything I've seen before!"

"Speaking of sorcery, Merlin," Arthur's brows suddenly drew into a frown. "Want to enlighten me about your supposed fame as a 'great and wise sorcerer'?"

"Haha. Err..." Merlin grinned awkwardly. "So, how about that kiss now?"

At that, Arthur wrestled (a very willing) Merlin right down into the mud, and they shared the kind of kiss that can only happen after years of longing. Wet, muddy, and more content than either had ever been before they stripped off their wet and muddy garments and huddled together under all the furs for much needed "warmth".


End file.
